Art And Skills Of Rejection In The Workplace

When someone asks me to do something that doesn't belong to me, how should I refuse it skillfully, and I will not make myself look rude and rude, and I will not break the door. I hope you won't think it is a stupid question, but I really need your advice. Over the past few years, additional tasks have been given to the Department, and the number is increasing. I would be happy to help, though it usually means working one or two hours every night to complete the work.

But now my father, who is living with me, is old and sick. I have to leave work at six o'clock p.m. to take over the babysitter. So, I would like to suggest that the Department should share the extra work I had done to the other five people - that sounds easy, but I am not born to refuse. For me, I prefer to nod "yes" rather than disappoint others. Do you or your readers have any suggestions?

First of all, I do not think this is a "stupid question". Bob Berg, a lecturer and writer, shares the same view. He often heard similar problems at the symposium held by Fortune 500 company (Fortune 500). Berg said, "women tell me that they are particularly difficult when they say" no ". But I think men are also facing the same problem, but they seldom admit it.

He added: "most people are friendly and do not like to disappoint others. As long as we violate our subconscious, that is, when impulse is dominant, it will lead us to do things that are not in the best interests of ourselves.

And your situation is, Workload They are increasing bit by bit until they have done all the extra work. Strictly speaking, these jobs do not fall within your scope of responsibility. This situation is very common, and even has a special name: scope spread. Berg said, "I often hear customers complain about this problem. Range spread is common in consultation, because in consultation projects, there are fixed expectations for project results, but the scope continues to spread beyond the original agreement or reasonable scope.

How should we solve this problem? Berg once wrote a book entitled "Adversaries into Allies: Win People Over Without Coercion or Manipulation", which is specially talked about. He said, "saying no is an answer to the end," and this view has been widely circulated recently by Oprah Wen Furui and others. "When someone says" no "to me, I feel embarrassed. When someone asks you to do something, it is rude to say "no" directly. Such an approach will alienate itself from others and make it harder for them to work and eventually lose their opportunities for future development.

He suggests that a better way is to go with the five position. Colleague Take an informal short meeting to explain to them that from now on, you have to leave work at 6 p.m. Berg said, "convey your message from the angle of" I ". Prepare your speech in advance, for example, "I have something to say." I have been taking on some extra tasks in the team. Although I am glad to be helpful to the team, I am having problems now. Due to family reasons, I have to leave work on time at 6. "

Berg said, "pay attention to the frequency of using" me "and" you "in your speech. For example, "you have given me too much extra work all the time." Just emphasizing "I" will make people feel criticized, and it will only lead them to have defensive posture. work Burden suggestions. Then you can help to set up a system to allocate additional work equally among team members and ask them for better ideas.

Now that you find yourself not very good at rejection, Berg said, "the hardest part is that someone will give you extra work after the meeting. We must be steadfast. Politely remind each other that you have already said that you are no longer the only person responsible for all the extra work. Don't apologize, don't compromise. He added: "something good is going to happen again and again." People's attitude towards us stems from our own performance. So if you always say "yes", people will continue to ask for it. But as long as you gently remind them that things have changed, they can gradually change their practices, and your problems will be solved. Good luck.

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